Yes, we're still alive...

I have full intentions of updating this blog regularly but somehow life always seems to get in the way :) Things are going good at the Cronrath household. We are all settled in our new house - feels like we've lived here forever. Gavin is getting bigger everyday and amazes us daily with how smart he is and what a little man he is becoming. He loves to spell his name and put magnets or bath letters together to say his name. He also loves using my phone to text his name to whomever I'm texting. LOL! He is so much fun and being his mommy really does get more fun (and challenging sometimes) each day!

With his buddies Buzz & Woody :)

New House!

We have been thinking about moving for a few months---weren't sure if we wanted to build or buy a resale and then Matt showed me "the one" and I instantly knew this house was meant for us! 1 long month later we are all moved in and I couldn't be happier. Gavin will be in preschool next fall and we really wanted him to be anywhere other than the Pasco school district. I am proud to say we are Kennewick residents once again and this home is perfect for us and we will be here a very long time! Our old house was a great starter home but it really allowed us to see what works for our lifestyle - the old house had a formal dining room that we never used, and it had 2 living rooms, one of which was never used. We also really didn't like having a 2 story. Our new house is a rambler and has one big open space. I am so in love with it!

Catch up...

I am so horrible about updating this thing on a regular basis...so once again I will do a picture post with what we've been doing lately...

Goofing around with Daddy

After carving pumpkins--this is Gavin's fake smile. He thought the pumpkins smelled horrible and was so happy when we were done carving!

Cousins Lily & Kennady came to visit!

Got his 3rd annual picture taken at Grandma Rhonda's work...my baby is so handsome!

We went to the Pumpkin Patch and spent almost 5 hours there! I think I had more fun than Gavin did :)

Gavin (aka Spiderman) & Winger on Halloween

Cheered on the Kennewick Lions at a football game!

Fireman Gavin (I got this costume on 90% after Halloween clearance for $2---score!)

Loss

I'm not sure how many people actually read this blog anymore but for those that do still do...but I need to write for my own sanity and so I can read this later on down the road.

I found out I was pregnant on September 23rd and 1 month and 2 days later on October 25th we lost the baby.  I had been having some spotting over the course of 4 days I just felt in my heart that something was wrong so I called and got scheduled for a quick ultrasound to check everything out.  I got squeezed in with Dr. Howerton, who I had never seen before, and after a few minutes of trying to find the heartbeat on the screen, he leaned in towards me and let me know that there was no heartbeat.  I can't really describe how I felt in that moment other than saying it was just an instant sadness that I had never felt before.  I got scheduled for a D&C for the following day, but mother nature starting working and I ended up miscarrying mostly at home before my surgery.  It was the most painful and awful thing but I just keep telling myself that it was in the power of someone much higher than me and everything happens for a reason.  It's almost been a week and I still feel just as sad and empty inside but I am also very thankful that it happened as early on as it did, it was devastating and I can't imagine what it would have felt like to have lost the baby any later than I did.  Matt & I are doing okay and at peace with the fact that it just wasn't meant to be.  Dr. Howerton, who I almost feel like fate brought me to him, was an absolute angel and I am looking forward to seeing him again under much better circumstances.  I've never felt a connection with a Doctor before, but he was so amazing and made us feel as good about our situation as possible.  He said that based on the fact we have a healthy son, there is no reason why this should happen again and he had full confidence that when I am pregnant again there will be a much better outcome.  What I've learned through all of this, is how badly I want another baby.  I kind of had the "well if it happens it happens" mentality before I got pregnant, but after being pregnant for a brief moment and then having it ripped away, I realize it's absolutely something I want and I cannot wait to try again.  We are going to give it a couple of months so I can heal emotionally and physically and then pray we get a better outcome the next time around and will end up with a second healthy baby in our arms.

"An angel opened the book of life & wrote down my baby's birth. Then she whispered as she closed the book "Too beautiful for earth."

Gavin is 3!

I say it every year but wow! I can't believe my baby is THREE years old! Time goes by way too fast.  On his actual birthday I took the day off of work and he got to spend the day with me and Daddy.  We took him to Red Robin for lunch and then to a hockey game.  The next day we had his birthday party and he got even more spoiled with so many cool new toys!  I think we need a separate house just to hold the rediculous amount of toys this kid has! :)